Firsts
by uchiha.s
Summary: Oneshot. A series of firsts. KC/Clare


Firsts

Summary: Oneshot. A series of firsts.

I

The first time in his life that KC felt safe was when he was given a tour of Degrassi by Clare Edwards. It wasn't something he would have liked to admit—that a snobby, geeky girl could make him feel at home—but it was the truth.

"Your locker...is next to mine," she said a bit uncomfortably, gesturing to the set of lockers. In the hallway, it was silent, except for Clare's voice. KC stepped back slightly when her eyes flickered to him; something about her eyes made him want to smile. He panicked. At first, he had been attracted to her. Then, she had pissed him off, and he had thought he wouldn't be attracted anymore. And then she had pissed him off again...in spite of all this, she still made him nervous.

"Uh oh. You'd better stick around...I might not be able to open mine," he teased. She rolled her eyes, and KC could feel that they were going to be friends soon. Maybe even more.

–

The first time in Clare's life that she had ever thought a person might be more than what they seemed was when she met KC. It irritated her, it got under her skin—people were one dimensional. You could only take someone at face value, because whatever you didn't see right away was probably not worth considering. Except for the case of KC.

Baggy, ripped cargo pants, a skateboard, and no glasses—why the _hell_ was he in her class? He didn't belong, and all you had to do was look at him to know that. And yet...

"But derivatives are just the slopes of functions—the rate of change," he was saying to their math teacher. Grade nine and in calculus proved he was on her level, but it still was a hard pill to swallow.

"You're not even taking _notes,_" she hissed at him after the teacher had turned back to the board. KC rolled his eyes at her. "You'll never pass if you don't take notes!" she added waspishly.

"What would I do without you, Edwards?" KC replied sarcastically. Hurt, she turned back to her own notebook, determined to not be distracted by him anymore.

But as the class went on, she was sure that he was stealing glances at her.

II

The first time KC danced was when he danced with Clare. The noise from the music coming from the gym was muffled by the distance, giving the hallway an odd sense of peace. KC reveled in the fact that they were finally alone. So many distractions, all the time—but if they could have moments like this, then that might be enough for him.

But when Connor stole her away from him, as he watched Clare chase after her friend, KC realized that spare stolen private moments would not, in fact, be enough.

And later that night, as he lay in bed, he wondered whether he would ever have more than moments with Clare. And also, whether it was even worth it to try. Once Clare found out the truth about him, would even friendship alone be possible? He wouldn't be able to blame her if she didn't want to stick around.

He had never regretted his actions quite so much before.

–

The first time that Clare had ever felt the urge to kiss someone was when KC had corrected a program she was writing. In the computer lab, they were sitting, side by side, alone, each working on their own version of the program. It was a comfortable silence, with occasional remarks from either one. For once, Connor and Alli were not present, and Clare—although she would never admit it—was relishing the private time with KC.

She test-ran the program. It beeped when it had reached an error in the script, and she let out a grumble of irritation. KC glanced at her, a slight smile on his lips.

"What's wrong now?" he teased, already leaning over to look at her computer screen. His forearm was directly alongside hers. At once she had the desire to lean in closer and at the same time the impulse to dart back. She settled for subtly shifting her position so that they were no longer in danger of touching.

"The script isn't working. I don't even know why," she sighed. KC furrowed his brow and grabbed her mouse, scrolling through the script of the program.

"Oh, it's just a syntax error. Look, all that's wrong is you're missing a piece of code here. See?" He leaned closer and fixed the error for her. He looked back over his shoulder at her, smiling, and she felt his gaze briefly drop to her mouth, before hastily making eye contact again. She swallowed nervously and looked at the screen.

"Y-you're right," she stammered, making a show of looking back at the screen. KC looked at her screen too, and without knowing entirely why she had done it, she took the opportunity to glance at his mouth. Her heart was beginning to beat and she could feel the blood rushing to her face.

"What, can't accept that you can be wrong occasionally?" KC smirked. Clare shot him a glower.

"I'm almost never wrong. You're almost never right," she snapped.

"Still on the whole 'KC's-mentally-deficient-'thing, I see," he said as he twisted around in his chair to face her. Clare willed herself to keep her eyes on the screen. Now that they were snapping at each other, she was beginning to feel more in her comfort zone. But...why?

III

The first time KC ever put his arm around a girl at the movies was on his first date with Clare. The movie was an action/sci-fi deal that Clare had chosen. On the screen, special effects and space ships flashed by, but KC absorbed none of it. He was too busy devising his strategy for how to manage to get his arm around his new girlfriend. In the movies it always looked so easy, but now that the time was here, he was at a loss.

What if he smelled funny? What if it was uncomfortable and she got weirded out? What if it was a totally cheesy and lame thing to do? Sometimes KC had to marvel at how Alli had already lost her virginity. Meanwhile he was having trouble just putting an arm around his girlfriend.

_Just do it. She likes you. Even if it's weird, it won't matter._.. He told himself, looking over at her. The movie was reflected off of her glasses, and the light from the screen was casting her skin and hair in pale blue. She was utterly engrossed in the movie...It was like he wasn't even there. _How can she be so calm on our first date? _

There was also the issue of the arm rest between them. Undoubtedly, it would dig into their sides and put them both at a weird angle. Just as he began mentally cursing the ignorant designers of movie theaters, he felt a hand cover his. Clare's cool palm was over his own hand. He stared at the screen as he intertwined his fingers with hers, goosebumps covering his skin. For a few minutes, they remained that way. Finally, he leaned close enough to whisper in her ear.

"Can I put my arm around you...?" He murmured. Even in the dark, he could tell Clare was blushing. She nodded wordlessly. Feeling his heart pounding, he slipped his hand out of hers and slowly slid his arm around her shoulders.

"Hold on," she said, and tugged at the armrest. It came up and folded backwards. Clare inched closer, and KC shifted so she could rest her head on his shoulder.

"I haven't paid any attention to the movie," he confessed in a loud whisper.

"Neither have I," Clare replied. KC couldn't resist smiling, and quite suddenly, he felt at ease.

–

The first time Clare drove a car was when KC taught her how.

"Brakes, gas. Only switch between them with one foot—leave your left foot off to the side," he explained. "Oh, and don't have such a death grip on the wheel, silly," he added, wrapping his hands around hers and forcibly loosening her grip.

"I can't believe we're doing this. If we get caught..." she began. KC grinned.

"I have my license. We're in a parking lot in the middle of nowhere. Nothing's going to go wrong. Now why don't you try driving around the perimeter of the lot?"

"A-alright," she conceded. She released the brake, and the car began to inch forward.

"You can use the gas, you know," he said, laughter evident in his eyes. She glared, but did as told.

And suddenly, she was actually driving. After the first perimeter, she began to feel confident, and picked up speed. Soon, it was effortless to drive in reverse and weave around the lampposts. She put the car in park finally.

"I did it. I drove." Clare almost was in disbelief. She turned to KC. He gave her a half-smile.

"You're a natural," he said, and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, but she turned her head so that their lips met.

The only sound was that of the cars passing by on the nearby road, and of Clare's heart beating frantically. KC's hand slid into her hair as he deepened the kiss, and all thought flew out of Clare's mind. In that moment, everything was perfect.

IV

The first time that KC experienced real jealousy was after he and Clare had ended their relationship in junior year and Clare had begun to date Reese. It was like they were taunting him; he saw them together everywhere. Sometimes he saw them walking home together—Clare was always passionately talking about something, and Reese would be hardly listening. _He doesn't even care_, KC would think furiously. Sometimes he saw them eating at the Dot, and he took note of the fact that Reese's eyes frequently wandered. _How can he even think about other girls when he's got the best one?!_

But it always came down to the fact that Clare seemed happy, and it was this that kept KC lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling and trying to not break everything in his room. He couldn't even remember _why_ they had broken up. It didn't make sense. With one argument, he had lost everything good in his life. He hadn't even been mad, but his pride had kept him from going to her to apologize. And when he finally had gotten over his pride, she was no longer there.

He came to the conclusion that even if they never got back together again, she was worth fighting for.

–

The first time that Clare felt real self-hate was when Reese tried to have sex with her. In his room, they had been watching a movie on his bed, when he had turned to her and covered her mouth with his eagerly.

It wasn't the wrong thing to do—they had been dating from halfway through junior year until now, the beginning of senior year. It was expected. But the truth was...every time he touched her hand, or kissed her cheek...she had wished it was KC. She had ignored it, convinced that she was just afraid of a new relationship. But as she felt his hands creep underneath the hem of her shirt, it occurred to her that with everything else, KC had been her first. Her first dance, her first crush, her first kiss, her first boyfriend. And that was the way she wanted it.

"Wait," she said, pushing away Reese. "We need to talk..."

V

The first time KC sets foot inside the maternity ward is when his wife is in labor. He paces the corridors and cannot keep still, not if his life depended on it. The fear and excitement manifest into adrenaline and he feels like he is walking on air.

When he sees his first child, she is a girl, and she has Clare's glass-green eyes. For the first time, KC feels truly complete.


End file.
